Why shouldn't you offer to pay for your share of the meal in China? Or use the thumbs-up sign to mean "that's excellent" in Sardinia?
 
Because, of course, despite the ease with which we can now communicate with and visit one another, they still do things differently over there. In China your host will "lose face" if you don't let him pick up the tab. In Sardinia a raised thumb means, literally, "Sit on this!"
 
Going Dutch in Beijing offers a lighthearted and informative guide to everything from first meeting to last rites. Subjects covered include the opening contact between strangers; greetings, gestures, handshakes, and getting names right; as well as more complex traditions and how to behave if you decide to stick around for good.
 
Whether you are heading abroad or staying at home, Going Dutch in Beijing is a delightful and indispensable handbook designed to ensure that your sense of the world is informed and your travel is happy.

Not for nothing did primitive cultures tread warily with outsiders. From the very first moment you set eyes on another human being, the possibility of some kind of misunderstanding arises. To those accustomed to informality, the niceties of our initial dealings with strangers may seem unimportant. But the right way to greet people still varies enormously from one place to another ... .

In Manhattan, London, or Shanghai, saying "Hello" (or Ni hao) to a stranger on the street would be seen as odd, even intrusive. If you do so, people are unlikely to reply and will probably assume that you're either a foreigner or a bumpkin from out of town. Outside the self-absorbed bustle of so-called global cities, however, things are more laid-back. Even in the bigger cities of the American south, such as Atlanta, Georgia, people often say "Hi" or "Howdy" to passers-by in the street, as they do in sunny Fiji (where the greeting is Bula!). The more local the environment, the ruder it gets not to say something. In little towns across France, for example, it's regarded as polite and normal to say Bonjour, monsieur or Bonsoir, madame to people as you pass by, while those strolling past neighborhood porches in New Orleans would expect to give and receive a "Good evening," even if they're not acquainted.

Africans throughout the continent are generally extremely familiar. In many places it's normal to greet strangers, not just with a "Hi," Bonjour, or Dumela, but with a follow-up "How are you?" Ha na? (West African pidgin), Habari gain? (in Kiswahili), and so forth. Mostly this inquiry will be met with a formulaic version of "I am well," and often followed by "And how are you?" which should be answered by a concluding "I, too, am well" before you get on with any other business. In Botswana the sequence goes like this:

Only now should you say that you'd like a couple of those nice-looking watermelons or ask the way to the center of town.

Farther north, similar ritual questions may well be taken literally, and the polite "How are you?" may be answered by an upbeat or downbeat stream of personal news, to which you're expected to react appropriately. In some places they go even further. As a stranger in rural Cameroon, you won't just be greeted; villagers will stop you and ask you where you're from, how long you've been in the village, who your parents are, if they can help you, and so on. If you're older, and therefore worthy of respect, for strangers not to do this would be seen as actively rude.

In stark contrast to all this is Scandinavia. In Sweden it's rarely done to greet an unknown face, even way out in the sticks. In Finland they are similarly taciturn. If they do say hello, there are various levels of salute: Terve! or Päivää! are formal greetings for strangers; Hei! is a friendlier version for those you see more often, and Moi! is for those intimates you see regularly.

In India and the Islamic world the greeting of strangers depends very much on gender. In Turkey, if a man joins another man as he is sitting alone on a park bench, he is likely to say Merhaba ("Hi") or even the more old-fashioned, formal Selâm aleyküm ("Peace be with you"), to which it's polite to reply Aleyküm selâm ("And with you, too"). But he would never greet an unknown woman sitting alone.

Women, likewise, will generally speak only to other women, though these days they are unlikely to use the formal Selâm, instead saying something like Merhaba, Iyi günler ("Good day"), or the trendier Kolay gelsin ("May things go easily for you") or Hayirli iler ("Have a good time at work").

In the West nowadays people rarely stand up when a newcomer enters the room, but in many parts of the world, from China to Argentina, it would be considered rude not to get to your feet in greeting. Waving from your chair, half-standing, or staring at your shoes just isn't enough.

A firm handshake is generally agreed to be a good thing in the West, especially in business circles. But in places as varied as Japan, Costa Rica, and Indonesia, a weak handshake is the norm and is no indication whatever of a lack of assertiveness. This doesn't mean that Westerners have to match limp squeeze for limp squeeze, but it may be wise to tone down the full-on bonecruncher.

Frequency of handshakes also varies. In the United States or United Kingdom one or two establishing handshakes in a group may be enough. In France or Spain newcomers to a meeting will shake hands all around. Nor is this just a business thing. Watch people on a French beach or at a Spanish party, and you'll see the same custom in action--as you will in French-influenced Tahiti and Spanish-speaking Colombia.

Many Asian cultures are not, traditionally, used to touching as a greeting and have imported the handshake only to fit in with the West. In the Middle East and India, for example, only Westernized Muslims and Hindus will shake hands with the opposite sex. Westerners of either sex shouldn't initiate cross-gender handshaking (a good rule of thumb is never to do so if your new acquaintances are wearing traditional dress).

Orthodox Jews, likewise, may be put out if a person of the opposite sex extends a hand. For a man, the problem is that the woman may be niddah (menstruating), not something he can tactfully inquire about; for a woman, if her head is covered, indicating she's married, she shouldn't shake hands (or embrace) at all.

Africans often go in for elaborate handshakes as a sign of friendship or solidarity. In west and central Africa men will shake hands, then, as they pull their palms away, grasp the other's middle finger between their thumb and forefinger and snap it. Farther south the "African handshake" is a three-part affair: the handshake begins normally and is followed by an upward clench before ending back as before (they'll show you how). To be offered this as a visiting white person--muzungu--is a big sign of acceptance (particularly in South Africa).

Northern Africans will often tap the left-hand sides of their chests with their right hands after a handshake, to show that they take your greeting to their hearts. In Chad sincerity is indicated by the left hand reaching out and supporting the right elbow from below as you shake, a charming action that's also found in South Korea.

In Senegal, merely extending a wrist or elbow is perfectly polite if you're already holding something, while women inGuatemala and Nicaragua are more likely to pat each other on the forearm than shake hands.

Frau first

In Germany always make sure you shake hands with the wife before you do so with the husband. In a large group--say at a restaurant--newcomers may rap their knuckles on the table in greeting rather than reach out and actually shake all the paws around the table.

When the French see each other for a second or third time in the same day, they greet each other with the delightful expression Rebonjour. But when they've shaken hands once, that's it for the day.

In the West children are often taught to look adults in the eye when shaking hands. Direct eye contact is considered a sound accompaniment to a handshake, indicating sincerity. In Mediterranean, Arab, and Latin American countries the gaze may be so full-on it disconcerts. But don't be offended if, in other parts of the world, your new acquaintance doesn't return the favor. In both Japan and Vietnam eye contact is generally avoided, as it is in China, where too long a look is considered disrespectful.

In the Australian outback full-blooded Aboriginals will tend not to meet your eye at all until a firm and trusting relationship is established. In central and southern Africa eyes are often averted when speaking with elders or superiors; in west African Ghana children are taught not to look adults in the eye at first meeting: to do so would indicate defiance.

In the United States and the United Kingdom it's polite to smile when you first meet someone; however false or creepy the grimace, the attempt signifies that you're at least trying to be happy about the encounter. But grins of greeting are not universal. Especially when it comes to business, many cultures regard meeting someone new as a serious matter. So take your cue from your new acquaintance: if they smile, smile back; if not, keep it straight.

If Japanese or Indonesians grin or laugh, it may not mean that they find what you're saying funny--it's just as likely that they don't understand something or are embarrassed.

Full-on Arabic greetings can be highly elaborate. After the initial Assalamu 'alaykum exchange--accompanied by a gentle handshake--you may then pull back your hand and touch your heart. A traditional host may now place his left hand o...