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I'm OK, You're My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
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Average customer review:
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Product Description
In a recent study, half of all Americans rated their relationship with at least one parent as either "poor" or "terrible," and more than a third felt this way about both parents. As life expectancy continues to rise and the parent-child relationship extends further and further into adulthood, this problem has reached epidemic proportion.
I'm Ok, You're My Parents offers practical, specific advice on how to
- exorcise the demons of anger and resentment
- untangle financial arrangements that cause stress and feelings of powerlessness
- set limits on parental demands for time and attention
- turn a spouse or friends into a powerful resource
- overcome your own resistance to change
- discover the redemptive power of humor
This will prove invaluable to anyone eager to get off the "treadmill," gain control, and build a life that they and their parents can live with—forever.
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #1068614 in Books
- Published on: 2005-01-02
- Released on: 2004-12-23
- Original language: English
- Binding: Paperback
- 336 pages
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Psychologist and media commentator Atkins draws on her experiences with clients to offer a prescriptive program to adults who have difficulty dealing with their parents. She describes a variety of common ways adults handle these relationships, such as still craving approval from parents, preferring to have as little contact as possible with them and feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of being a caretaker to aging parents. Atkins is extremely helpful when discussing these situations. She uses specific examples to help readers identify. She explains, for instance, that daughters and sons may be sending messages with their body language: "realize that changing your body language with [your parents] can be one of your most effective tools of persuasion, because body language is, for the most part, subliminal. Your parents may not know what's different about you, but they will register this change deep down." Atkins's detailed suggestions of behavior modification are sound, but her suggestion that readers do a fair amount of psychological exploration may turn off some. The book's last section, however, on troubleshooting, brims with valuable advice. It offers advice on what to do when "They Manipulate Me with Health Crises (Real and Imagined)"; "They Make Themselves a Little Too Much at Home"; "They Think I Am a Bad Parent"; "They Manage to Slip an Insult into Every Conversation"; "They Want Too Much of My Time"; and other common complaints. 10 b&w illus.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
Atkins, a licensed psychologist, media commentator, and frequent Today Show guest, draws on 25 years of clinical experience to provide helpful advice for adults seeking more satisfying relationships with their parents. In easy-to-read, jargon-free language, she shows how readers can rid themselves of residual childhood anger and resentment, free themselves from destructive financial entanglements with parents, avoid manipulation via health crises, and gently set limits on parental demands for time and attention. To build a loving relationship with parents, the author asks that readers take stock of and alter their own behavior, which, she suggests, will trigger positive changes in parental behavior and will help readers build loving relationships in spite of past experiences. Atkins provides exercises and clear explanations that will help calm many a volatile adult child-parent relationship and prove helpful to many readers. Recommended for libraries with a high number of patrons providing parental care. Kathleen Hughes
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
New York University Child Study Center
