Product Description

By the author of the national bestseller Raising a Thinking Child, an indispensable guide or parents of preteens.Raising a Thinking Preteen introduces a unique series of exercises, games, and discussions that parents can share with their eight-to twelve-year-olds and in so doing will help their children recognize and express their feelings, as well as help identify why others behave the way they do. This book can be used by those who are familiar with the "I Can Problem Solve" program from the best-selling Raising a Thinking Child, where it was applied to younger children ages four through seven, or they can easily learn its benefits here for the first time. Using the same pathbreaking technique she described in her first book, Myrna Shure shows parents how her ICPS program can teach the skills all preteens need to learn in order to face challenges confidently and be more successful in nearly every aspect of life now and as adolescents and adults. It also makes a parent's life much easier, as it helps children: Learn to wait for what they want Cope with frustration Get along better with peersControl their impulses and aggressions Resist feelings of depressionThe preteen years are often the last opportunity for parents to teach their children how to think for themselves. This book is the only source with a proven plan to help them do just that.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #600504 in Books
• Published on: 2000-03-14
• Original language: English
• Binding: Hardcover
• 256 pages

From Amazon.com
In most public schools today, children aren't taught problem-solving skills until high school--a time when they're often already mired in a variety of difficult situations. Raising a Thinking Preteen addresses this situation by presenting a well-developed program, ICPS (I Can Problem Solve), that's designed to help children think clearly about their actions and emotions by considering different viewpoints, solutions, and possible consequences. Every child can benefit from the concepts here; as author Myrna Shure says, "there is no ceiling or upper limit when it comes to learning interpersonal skills." The book begins with some practical basics--especially useful are some simple games that will help develop the vocabulary your child will use to discuss his feelings. Not every 8-year-old can define embarrassed or frustrated very easily! This parent-friendly guide focuses on everyday occurrences and practical improvements rather than theoretical possibilities; as a result, each chapter is full of real-life examples and suggestions for teaching these techniques to your own children. Hurried parents who lack focused reading time will appreciate the way each chapter breaks down into smaller subjects--so those constant interruptions won't be such a bother. Jill Lightner

From Publishers Weekly
Life is getting more complex for preteens, but not nearly as complicated as it will become when they start to live their own lives and make decisions away from their parents. Fortunately, 8- to 12-year-olds are generally still willing to listen, and thus parents are provided a golden opportunity to hone their children's skills for coping emotionally. After dissecting approaches that she feels don't work, Shure (Raising a Thinking Child) unveils the I Can Problem Solve (ICPS) method. She identifies ways for parents to stop lecturing and start asking the kinds of insightful questions that she believes encourages children to think for themselves. ICPS, which has been used in several school districts, relies on a five-step approach that helps children understand others' motives, learn how to listen and develop solutions for everyday conflicts with friends and family. Shure offers an abundance of games and exercises as well as case studies to show how ICPS works in many exasperatingly familiar situations, from fights with siblings to conflicts over homework to dealing with bullies and unreasonable teachers at school. Parents will also find useful suggestions and some powerful insights, such as "behavior is guided not by what children think, but how." However, implementing the dialogues and interpreting the results without the guidance of a psychologist may be more difficult than Shure has envisioned, and there are times when her enthusiasm for the approach sounds uncomfortably close to a sales pitch. (Apr.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
"Raising a Thinking Preteen focuses on an age-group whose struggle is too often invisible, and offers an intelligent, practical resource..." (William Pollack, Ph.D., author of Real Boys and faculty, Harvard Medical School)

Customer Reviews

Good resource for parents
Developmental psychologist Shure shares her method of encouraging kids to think for themselves, by learning and mastering a specific set of skills to become good problem solvers, make good decisions, and resolve conflict. Chapters discuss the wrong ways of parenting (explaining, suggesting, and overpowering) and recommends parents try the problem solving approach. Shure offers games to play to develop skills in such as thinking about how other people are feeling, recognizing conflicting emotion, planning alternative solutions, planning in a sequence, and considering consequences. A quiz at the end offers additional ways to test and hone these skills.
At the beginning, Shute states that children must learn pro-social behaviors. Social withdrawl is not something one outgrows, and encourages adults to draw out the wallflower, loner types. Parental involvement is key.
Examples were always very clear, but sometimes the answers seemed too perfect. Not every child is a textbook case. Most of the book focuses on three different children, and more cases or diffent types of children might have been included. Still the premise is good, modeling behavior is recommended, and the techniques appear to work.
All of the studies she cites are 13-18 years old, a point of concern, and the book loses a bit of credibility. However, the ICPS method is supposed to very good for kids with ADHD, a current hot topic. Updated research would lend more authority to the work. She frequently makes reference to colleagues with giving much explaination of their work, a minor frustration. References are cited at the end in a bibliography oddly divided by chapter, but without numbered or detailed notes. The author kindly includes her own mailing address, email address and URL for questions, concern and feedback.
Not having any children of my own to test Shure's theories out on, I hope to put them to use in dealing with some of the young adults I work with. Frustrated parents may find this book works for them; stock it in your parent teacher section.

Best for parents and teachers...
Myrna Shure tells parents and teachers (from a cognitive-behavioral point of view) how to help 8- to 12-year-olds cope with ordinary and not-so-ordinary pressures of growing up. Her method is central to establishing a positive social emotional learning climate in a classroom. She also helps parents avoid the traps that parents fall into: power struggles, "telling" (i.e., ordering), "explaining," and so forth. Her belief is that if children in this group can "think" better about emotional issues, then they will handle the pressures of adolescence much better. Therefore, while her work addresses immediate issues of growing up in 8 to 12 year-olds, she also thinks "preventatively" about the 13 to 18 year-old group.

Shure proposes teaching youngsters five fundamental skills: (1) understanding another's feelings and point of view; (2) understanding motives; (3) finding alternate solutions; (4) considering consequences; and (5) planning sequential steps to arrive at one's goals. Her emphasis is on the child's intrinsic motivation to do better and be part of a group, not on extrinsic rewards (as in "ordinary" behavior therapy).

She has great empathy and flexibility with kids. You will see in this book a perceptive, creative, and sensitive grown-up working with kids and parents. You will learn how to develop and apply these five skills with children--either in your home or in your classroom. The I Can Problem Solve (ICPS) program is worth the ticket of admission, but to get a chance to "hear" her good heart is a double bonus.

I also liked her time-frame. Children need time to grow. She is not an instant-fix-it expert. She respects kids enough to value their own pace, for themselves.

Where the rubber meets the road
Wonderfully hands-on, this book really teaches the parent how to talk to the child in a way that is constructive, instead of so many of the destructive ways that we all, mostly unknowingly, fall into. This book and its predecessor, Raising a Thinking Child, should be used as textbooks for the parenting class everyone in America should be required to take before being allowed to have children.