Product Description

Featured in The New York Times

"After the Affair is the most comprehensive and balanced book I have ever read on the subject.  It is a 'must' for any couple who has experienced the violation of trust as a result of an affair." -Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want

Infidelity can be the death blow of a relationship. But for those seeking guidance, sympathy and solutions to the ravaged feelings and broken trust triggered by an affair, help is now available for the first time on audio.

Dr. Janis Spring offers original and proven strategies that lay to rest blame and recrimination, and focus instead on realistic ways of coping with pain, restoring self-esteem, and rebuilding trust and intimacy.

The author reads on two cassettes.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #487272 in Books
• Published on: 1996-04-03
• Original language: English
• Binding: Audio Cassette

From Publishers Weekly
For married or cohabiting couples who want to rebuild their relationship after one partner had had an affair, this tough-minded, insightful manual will be eminently practical. Clinical psychologist Spring, writing with her husband, draws on 20 years of experience treating distressed couples as she explains how both the unfaithful partner and the betrayed one can confront their doubts and fears about recommitting, constructively communicate pain and anger, restore trust, renew sexual intimacy and forgive. In jargon-free prose, she urges both partners to probe the deeper meaning of the affair, to explore why it happened and to accept responsibility for it. Recognizing unstated assumptions held by oneself or one's mate is an integral part of this process, and the authors include exercises, concise case studies and checklists of suggestions to guide readers through the difficult task of healing. This wise book fills a gap on the self-help shelf. First serial to Cosmopolitan; available on audiocassette.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Ingram
Stating that couples can survive infidelity, a strategic guide provides exercises that help readers overcome feelings of trauma and betrayal, understand why the infidelity occurred, alter destructive behaviors, and recommit to marriage. Read by Janis Spring.

About the Author

Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. A Diplomate in Clinical Psychology and a recipient of the Connecticut Psychological Association's Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, she has served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University. Her first book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, has sold over 250,000 copies and is published in 12 countries. How Can I Forgive You? is a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award.

Dr. Spring received her B.A. from Brandeis University, magna cum laude, her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Connecticut, and her post-graduate training from Aaron T. Beck, M.D., at the Center for Cognitive Therapy at the University of Pennsylvania. The richness and originality of her work make her a popular media guest and a prized presenter to both professional and lay audiences. In private practice for almost three decades, she resides in Westport, Connecticut. She and her husband, Michael Spring, have four sons.

Michael Spring is publisher of the Frommer's Travel Guides at John Wiley. He has a B.A. from Haverford College and an M.A. in English Literature from Columbia University.

Customer Reviews

Classroom Tactics
The book is ok. It gives the psychological point of view that everything you do as an adult is a reflection of your childhood. The author offers suggestions on how to reflect back into your past to determine what made you/your mate have an affair. She also states that both partner's took a part in causing the affair to happen. That is a great philosophy, however, it is difficult to prove or disect. When I asked my partner why he had an affair, he simply stated "our relationship was perfect, he was just being greedy and stupid"!!! It doesn't take [$$$} to figure out why some people cheat. Some people or simply greedy, stupid or a combination of both. I personally did not find this book very useful and I am returning it today. I think the author is using classroom tactics that don't apply to everyday human life or is too complex for the average person to understand. If you believe everything people do is because of their upbringing then buy the book. If you believe life is a little more complicated than that and you want to save your relationship I recommend counseling and prayer. This book alone is not enough.

After the Affair
This looked at the pros and cons for both partners after an affair. It is a balanced account of how to mend relationships or decide to let go. I found it was reasonable but a bit too repetitive as details were examined from both sides.

My review of After . . .
AFTER THE AFFAIR is a must read if you are struggling in the aftermath of an affair. It provides such a great insight on why things happen and really challenges to explore your heart and feelings. Another great thing about it is that it does not place outright blame on one party or another, looks at both spouses perspectives of the situation and gives the necessary tools to start rebuilding. Things that other people, family, therapists, etc. may have told you a hundred times but never really made sense become clear with reading this book. It has helped me very much so far and my friends are now reading it as well. Other books I recently read and enjoyed were: THE LOVELY BONES, LUCKY, and THE CHILDREN'S CORNER by Jackson McCrae.