Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #519752 in Books
• Published on: 2004-01-22
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

From Publishers Weekly
"Whoever said love is stronger than death was full of malarkey," comments Cooney, setting the forthright tone early in this honest account of taking care of a parent with Alzheimer's. In 1997, Cooney (The Court of the Lion: A Novel of the T'Ang Dynasty) and her companion, Mitch, both freelance writers, moved Cooney's 75-year-old mother, novelist Mary Durant, from her home in Connecticut to live near them in Northern California when it became clear that her mother's short-term memory was failing. A great admirer and loving daughter of her elegant, witty mother, Cooney suffered from terrible grief because she could not protect her mother from encroaching dementia. Durant's metamorphosis into a dependent, childlike hypochondriac occurred some years after the death of her husband. Cooney vividly describes the everyday physical and emotional stresses on her and Mitch, once her mother moved in with them, and highlights the lack of available resources for Alzheimer's patients who are not independently wealthy. Cooney and Mitch missed writing deadlines, began to drink heavily and nearly ended their relationship. When they could no longer manage her mother at home, Cooney placed her in several unpleasant assisted living residences, until Cooney managed to find her a reasonable place. A short story by Mary Durant is appended to this well-written, harrowing memoir.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
Cooney has explored ancient China in novels like The Court of the Lion, but here she considers a current reality: her own novelist-mother's incapacitation by Alzheimer's.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
Cooney's angry and unsparing look at the devastating effects of Alzheimer's disease on a loved one and the havoc it wreaks on the immediate caregivers is made all the more poignant by the fact that the victim is her mother, the novelist Mary Durant. Cooney and Durant's bond was very strong; they truly liked one another and were very close friends. Durant was glamorous and witty, and she didn't suffer fools or anyone else's foolishness, for that matter, gladly. Cooney lets us slowly witness her mother's mental functions disintegrate, and she pulls no punches in depicting the painful process of the parent becoming the child and the child the parent. Of course, Cooney, a novelist herself, is a terrific writer. Though her subject matter is bleak, her book is neither sentimental nor depressing. Indeed, she leavens her grief with black humor. Despite the inevitable outcome, readers will want to see what happens next. Consider it a must-read for those dealing with a loved one's Alzheimer's. June Sawyers
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Customer Reviews

Remarkable book on many levels
Eleanor Cooney, a truly gifted and literary writer with a wicked sense of humor and irony, has certainly gotten to "the heart of the beast called Alzheimer's" in this compelling book about how her mother's dementia spun their lives out of control. As anyone going through this heartbreaking process knows firsthand, not only are you faced with losing the parent, spouse, or grandparent you love, but also with the harsh realities of how "the beast" takes over every aspect of your life. In addition to being impossible to put down, one of the things that struck me most about this book was how her story touches on so many levels. DEATH IN SLOW MOTION is as much a love story, a tribute to her mom - a memorable character if there ever was one - as it is about living, loving, looking back and having to face your own worst demons and forge ahead the best way you know how. This is the best book I've read in a long time.

Great book for Alzheimer's caregivers...
This was one of the most gripping books I've ever read! Her thorough account in coping with her mother's AD was both astonishing and appreciatively honest and graphic. "Death in Slow Motion" truly depicts the "phases of grief" when a loved one dies. Shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, acceptance-they are all there.

With Cooney being her mother's caregiver, it seems appropriate that she didn't have any children. I don't know how anyone with children (young, living at home) could fit into this tangled web of sorts--but yet I'm sure in reality that it does happen. Though it was never mentioned, I'm curious if Cooney's brother had any children...?

Twist of fate or bad luck--you call it. In one way, Cooney was fortunate that she worked from home. I'm sure she would have been late to work many times or altogether absent more often than not. Otherwise, she would probably have been out of a job only a few months into caring for her mother. Still, working away from home would have offered a reprieve away from her mother and maybe even reduced some of the depression. Clearly this was desperately needed since Cooney resorted to her vice alcohol; too, her boyfriend drank heavily. Drinking to avoid reality illustrated a truly horrible situation of her mother's disease and how it affected the family and loved ones. She even drank hard liquor while working! I can't even stay awake after two or three drinks...I had no idea that it was THAT awful; living with and caring for someone suffering from Alzheimer's disease and that it could literally drive the caregiver to utter madness...

But, as Cooney mentioned, it was almost impossible for her to get any work done with her mother within an arm's reach. Her mother's constant needs and questions, disorientation and stomach ailments had Cooney going in circles or off in tangents-
whichever you prefer. Her working until the 'wee' hours reminded me of when my children were newborns, I was awake at midnight doing laundry or cleaning the house, while baby (to a certain extent) slept. And yet comparatively, being a new mother is rewarding and gradually improves with time (the sleep factor anyway); however, I didn't get the feeling that Cooney (being an AD caregiver) felt this satisfaction at all! In fact, it was far more shocking for reason that she watched an amazing woman so full of life take a nose-dive into muddled and disorientated waters in unison with the continuous
despondency invading everyone's lives.

At the same time, she experienced anger at her mother for being like this and then guilt for thinking such thoughts-in no particular order. These can be inferred as 'parent-type' feelings that I think most parents go through (from lack of sleep, frustration from baby crying, etc.). Cooney undoubtedly experienced motherhood in a bizarre sort of way. This ongoing guilt and pain that Cooney suffered reveals her devotion and love for her mother.

Though the details weren't there, it didn't seem that Cooney received adequate information on the progression of this disease. Or perhaps she already knew plenty about it but failed to say so-I don't know. But she seemed to be in constant denial of her mother's condition in thinking that she would 'be okay' in a home of assisted living. Then again, I suppose the last thing I would want to do is to live with knowing that I had placed my mother in a nursing home. On top of the guilt factors alone, the horrors she experienced with the inadequate hospitals or the homes overmedicating her mother-I can't blame Cooney's ongoing reluctance. What a relief (?) for her to finally acknowledge the biting reality of mother's disease consequently reaching out for help, stop lying staff workers of the various homes and eventually place her in a fitting environment.

Definitely, "Death in Slow Motion" is vital for any caregiver in the vicious world of Alzheimer's disease. I debate with myself, if I'd recommend it for a person inflicted with the disease. The mother in me wants to protect the "child", per se, from the cruel but real world. Then again, if I was the person with AD I surely would want to know what was in store for me...

Death In Slow Motion: My Mother's Decent Into Alzheimer's
After reading Eleanor Cooney's wonderful book, I feel much better equiped to handle my own mother's recent diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease. Eleanor said things I was thinking, but was not able to put into words. I laughed, I cried, but mostly I got a ton of wonderful, very useful information. Thank you Eleanor for opening your heart and putting your voice on paper.